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Gabriel Arana

¿Terminar la relación a las buenas o a las malas?

Tu relación ha pasado por malos momentos, has sufrido demasiado, entonces decides terminar la relación…

- Mi amor, ya no podemos estar juntos, quiero que terminemos la relación.

- Sí, tienes razón, es lo mejor para los dos, te deseo todo lo mejor – te abraza y se retira.

Sólo en una película vas a ver este tipo de finales, porque te aseguro que es muy pero muy difícil terminar con alguien que amas con una simple conversación, y a pesar de que esta persona te está haciendo daño no puedes darte una despedida sentimental con besos y abrazos… ¿Por qué no? Porque te iras con un bonito recuerdo y será muy difícil seguir adelante.

Quizás te ha pasado a ti, terminaron la relación y a los días comenzaron a enviarse mensajes, se vieron, se abrazaron, se besaron, hicieron el amor apasionadamente y al momento siguiente te preguntas ¿Por qué mierda volví a esto? Y la respuesta es porque ese tipo de finales “a las buenas” no funcionan, sólo estás dejando las puertas abiertas para volver muy pronto, la nostalgia te hará una mala pasada y es cuestión de tiempo para que vuelvas a caer.

Yo lo intenté muchas veces y fracasé, siempre trataba de terminar en buenos términos o como amigos, pero no se puede, al final uno siempre regresa a la misma relación y nada ha cambiado.

Por eso, siempre aconsejo que la mejor forma de terminar una relación, es “a las malas”, pero no me refiero partiéndole una botella en la cabeza a tu ex y terminando en la cárcel, me refiero que a veces una situación dolorosa o una discusión es lo mejor que puede pasar para poner fin a la relación, y debe ser para siempre y no por unos días.

Este tipo de situaciones dolorosas serán el arma que necesitas para no sentir nostalgia por esa persona y mantenerte firme en tu decisión de alejarte para siempre.

Y no estoy hablando de odiar a tu ex todo el tiempo, la idea es combatir los pensamientos de nostalgia, los recuerdos bonitos y todo lo que te aferra a esa relación con una situación dolorosa con la que terminó la relación, ese es el motivo más poderoso que puedes utilizar a tu favor para no regresar con esa persona.

Si tu relación está mal y tu pareja te engaña, te miente o te hace daño de alguna manera, debes alejarte inmediatamente y quedarte con ese recuerdo doloroso pero poderoso a la vez.

No busques pretextos para seguir al lado de alguien que no es la persona indicada, no busques finales felices porque el único final feliz sería si se queda contigo por siempre, pero si esta persona te hace daño, sólo hay un final y es triste.

Debes cambiar tu forma de ver una ruptura amorosa, si la relación terminó es por algo, deja de aferrarte a los momentos bonitos que tuviste con esa persona y reacciona a la realidad. Existe un motivo para que tu relación haya fracasado o para que en este momento estés sufriendo, y debes utilizarlo para alejarte y seguir adelante.

No te olvides del motivo por el que esa persona no debe estar a tu lado, del daño que te hizo o simplemente de lo mucho que tú vales para estar sufriendo por alguien que no te merece.

Y si estás cansado o cansada de sufrir al lado de alguien, te aseguro que un “Vete al carajo” funciona mucho mejor que un “Adiós, te deseo lo mejor”.

Porque entre nostalgia y rencor, me quedo con rencor, duele menos.

 

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